February 2011
1 post
friend: life doesn't ever really make sense does it?
i just cant imagine what that would be like
me: in the moment, sometimes, things make the most sense
January 2011
1 post
living the future is complicated
October 2010
1 post
it is so gloomy out there today, there is a need for treats
July 2010
2 posts
Rebecca: like, life is short! take time!
me: i love this
its true
embrace the crazy!
and embrace the work you want to create!
Rebecca: the sane-crazy!
yes!
Ann: lady tornadoes are my favorite natural disaster
June 2010
5 posts
vaginas are funny
lady 1: patently false:http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisglass/4742386191/
lady 2: has this person ever interacted w/ a vagina?
they are hilarious!
exhibit a = THE QUEEF
duhz
like, show me a dude who can fart through his dick
and i MIGHT concede they are just as funny as vadges
MIGHT
lady 1: i mean its classic gender bulsshit
like why are balls and dick funnier than vadge
why?
no explanaish
and sorry its not even bias
vaginas are hilarious
lady 2: he must have firsthand experience w/ christopher hitchens' hilarious wiener
lady 1: do you put yogurt up your penis when you have a yeast infection?!?!
lady 2: also, the vagina's resemblence to a mouth makes it more hilarious to picture it saying things
like : "get your unfunny little peen away from me"
talking dick = improbable
lady 1: lolz
talking dick
drunk dial
manda: i tried to drunk dial you in the middle of the night and called the wrong number
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
manda: hell yeah girl
me: god, i love you
manda: some dude was like
look
you're drunk
i am not your friend
quit
dubinb: yeah dude. japanese punks party hard
Ann: girl how you learn to hula hoop like that?
me: i get it from my mama
Ann: m-m-m-my mama. my mama
me: well, your life rules
because you made it that way
but sometimes its hard to remember that under the stress of everyday livin in the modern world
May 2010
4 posts
me: my smoking is killin me
my man is killin me
my pms is killin me
ann: my boss is killin me
my job is killin me
these heels are killin me
me: my shopping's killin
can't sleep, it's killin me
ann: DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO
DANOSAUR: ask the internet!
me: ugh
we have a love hate relationship and sometimes i have trust issues with the internet
me: i have had so much coffee today i am like a cokehead at studio 54
Lara: haha, except you have to edit instead of screw strangers in bathrooms
that's too bad
it is about to be summertime
live free
you are good at it
we are fun
our friends are great
run with this great vibe
April 2010
31 posts
Thomas: hey, toblerone is a breakfast food, right?
me: YES GOD YES
me: embrace the crazy carefree spirit of summer
gone postal
Becca: um, maybe i want to bone the mailman? weird.
Russell: have a good day and dont be stressed
me: i will chill.
Russell: being stressed is for people that have no alternatives
you have nothing but
plus a good support group and an amazing energy level
me: NO EXCUSES! you are hot and dudes want yr sexxxx
Jeanne: yessssssssssss
a different species?
me: i've seen you have internet fights with him before
he's a dick
Jezra: i know, and he doesn't make any sense
nor do any other conservatives
which is why i have a new theory
that Conservatives and Liberals are becoming a different species of human
we have different brains
different logic
like the squirrel that crossed the canyon
me: whoa
ok, so i need to go.
but that just blew my mind
Jezra: yeah me too
sci fi shit
me: can we save that for some stoner chat at another time?
jiffy lube live
Jessica: band of horses is playing at jiffy lube live in may.
with pearl jam.
why.
me: jiffy lube live? wtf.
Jessica: more so that its with pearl jam
like
i dont want to see you.
Jeanne: this is currently someone’s status on fb right now:
Possibly no better weekday breakfast than organic raisin toast with tofu cream cheese.
me: tofu?
i mean
Jeanne: tofu cream cheese?
vomit
me: haha i thought that was you! and i was like
wait. jeanne.
have you hit your head. did something happen.
Jeanne: lole
not me, thank god.
Lewis: basically there are problems with growing plants in space
primarily b/c there's no gravity
me: right!
Lewis: but for other reasons
me: are plants INDIGENOUS to space?
Lewis: haa
no terrestrial plants
me: as in EARTH plants?
Lewis: that's not to say there couldn't be some kind of live that actually lives in space
but no, plants as we know them are not indigenous to space
thank you , brother bear.
me: i am scared about the future and being serious and whats next
im getting older
i need to follow my dreams
they are blurry tho
Bob: yeah, that's tough
my dreams are always centered on people and relationships -- others' dreams center on work and doing good things for others through that
or art
etc
me: at least i know i should be really making an effort to do something else
Bob: and all are valid
me: you have a very reasonable point of view
Bob: yeah
but everybody has different motives, which is how it should be
work feeds me, it doesn't motivate me
i wish it was different! : )
me: naw you have a very reasonable outlook
i am trying to fit together my desire to make an impact and my need to stay sane
but i should start getting paid and get some insurance
Bob: mos def
me: http://www.zennioptical.com/home.php
Liz: O THANK GOD
i couldn’t remember the name when i got home last night
i will order 234732890 pairs
me: i mean
its awesome
however. its kind of weird not being able to try them on
Liz: but then they are so cheap, i don’t think it matters
me: that’s forever 21 logic.
because i got high
me: :) i love how sully is making me feel better about my habits
ann: hahaha
i mean, seriously
"women who get high"?!
who effing cares!
why is this any different than "men who get high"?
me: cuz we're interesting, come on ann!
but srsly
ann: (she says while scratching her genitals and taking a swig of whiskey)
me: we do do everything better
so maybe that's why
see, even in that sentence
you look waaay sexier doing both those things than any man would
me: nerds do nerd things
jaime: cool people do cool things
petty luv.
Jeanne: YOU GOT A TATTOO
me: I DID
Jeanne: OOOOOOOOO
me: he met a girl out there with a tattoo too
now i can really “be” that song.
#dream realized
Holly: and i ate 38
literally i was sitting on my toilet
and then in mid poop
had to turn around to vomit
Cella: i can’t find my clueless so last night i had to watch bring it on instead
Cella: also, i am downloading “the bartman”
illegally.
A Special Facebook Selection: " OMG has any1...
Elizabeth: OMG has any1 noticed burger king may be gang related......
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Comment · LikeUnlike
Roman
Yea... Didn't you see the king breaking into McDonalds and stealing their sausage mcmuffin recipe? Definitely gang related stuff going on there.
Elizabeth
Lol bt im so serious...
2 hours ago
Brandi
No, girl...what's the deal?
2 hours ago
Lashawntanika
Gurl u r crazi wat hav u found out now
about an hour
Elizabeth
Ok 1st of all burger king is bk...their chic tenders r 3 pt crowns...and ths new commercial says blah blah wat time is it and the time on the watch iz 211. I swear to god
Everyone's a critic
ann: the last time a bird shat on me, i was in third grade
it landed on my puffy neon pink headband
sparing my hair, thankfully
but that headband was a goner
me: NEON PINK HEADBAND!
ann: this was pre-waldorf, so i think the bird was actually a fashion critic
Cella; also, is air guitar going to sell out?
me: …
Cella: shut up and answer me.
me: you and becca can be happy employed hobos together
Liz: hahahahah true!
me: i mean, yes, money is nice
but it’s so not everything.
Liz: we will still be hobo-ey
agreed.
me: not even close to everything.
Liz: hahaha you know what is everything?
me: dicks?
Liz: ds. bags and bags of ds
yes
hahahahhAHAHA
me: addendum, i peed in your apt with the door open today which means i feel at home there
Jeanne: awwwwww
me: pop quiz
i had no groceries in the house, and $10
what did i buy at target
Jessica: HAHA its a movie?
me: no no
food
3 items
Jessica: and they all go together?
me: one is a bev, and one is food, and the other completes the two
JESSICA THIS IS AN EASY ONE. WHAT DO WE EAT
Jessica: cheese and crackers??
me: sigh. raisin bran, milk and coffee.
me: you loze. hahlshdf
Jessica: i am...
me: DID YOU SEE MY COMM
me: DID YOU SEE MY COMM
Cella: YES OMG
you are living in my head
and also in my pants.
Jonah: that nytimes article on gay animals
made reference to male porpoises doin' it in the blowhole
what ever happened to good old fashioned oceanic values?
Holly: Where the party at
me: my pants
me: favorite gaga hater http://www.youtube.com/user/ItsKingsleyBitch#p/u/6/tXqXsZfInJw ann: “get the fuck out my face and let me have my fun for, you know, a couple hours.” #lifemotto
me kissin u
JDH: anners, this should be a decision u should be making wit ur head AND ur heart
Aminatou: u r a weirdo
Ann: luckily my head and my heart r always in agreement. #midwestpragmatism
a-thank you
me: ok! the last time i had him was one of the first classes i ever took and he’s hard so probably won’t be that bad
Jen: nope you have built a lot of strength since then and also know when to hold back more than you might have then. u r more used to the limits of yr body and managing them.
Aminatou: i am bad at crafts
Aminatou: so the internet is perfect
Ann: REAL WOMEN HAVE PUBES
origin story.
Jen: but we always accept cheese and alcohal
or sweets
sure
me: "but we always accept cheese and alcohal" = life motto
Jen: hahaha
jen the sage up in this piece
me: PLS be my guru
send me tidbits of wisdom
Jen: ok
me: and one day i will make one of those tear-off calendars full of your deep thoughts
Jen: hahahahahahaha
me: "Pinch or pinch not. There is no try." -jenmiz
"HOLD STILL you look so good." -jenmiz
"we always accept cheese and alcohal" -jenmiz
Jen: hahaha
me: this calendar is going to be so awesome
Jen: perhaps i should start another tumblr
"little wiz by jenmiz"
wizzzzzzdoms
me: HOLY SHIT YES
JENMIZDOM